NFL Preseason Power Rankings

      I have always hated preseason power rankings. I know that's probably not the best way to get you to read ahead, but I thought I should come out and say it. It's nearly impossible for anyone to look at all 32 NFL teams before a single game has even been played and predetermine who will have a good season and who won't. I've always maintained that these Power Rankings are for snobby elitist fans and hacks...Probably because they always have my favorite teams way down at the bottom. Is it their fault for being overly analytical or is it my fault for seemingly always rooting for the underdog? I decided before I pass judgment on all the analysts, sports reporters, and fellow bloggers who come up with these things, I should take a crack at it myself. Maybe I'll find a new respect for what they do. Maybe I'll start finding validity in the things they say about the upcoming season. Overall, my goal is to give my thoughts on what the future holds while remaining objective. You aren't supposed to play favorites in these situations, so I'll go ahead and admit that my favorite NFL teams are the Bengals, Texans, Raiders, Lions, Buccaneers, and Packers. I'll let you guys decide if I'm being fair. No matter what happens, Mel Kiper Jr. is still Quentin Tarantino with a wig.

Let's get down to business...

1. Green Bay Packers: I just told you 2 things. I have no intention of being biased in these Power Rankings, and the Green Bay Packers are one of my favorite teams..Who are you going to believe? Me or me? While the Packers have been one my favorite teams since the glory days of old #4, this pick has more to do with how amazing the Cheese played last year. They are the defending champs. Aaron Rodgers is an MVP caliber player, and they find ways to win. I wouldn't be surprised at all to see a repeat performance from last year.

2. Pittsburgh Steelers: It's no secret that I hate the Steelers with the fire of a million exploding suns, but it's also no secret that they have more rings than my Bengals usually have wins in a given season. They have already resigned Ike Taylor, and Lamar Woodley shouldn't be far behind, so the core of their nasty defense is still in tact. For some teams, losing the Super Bowl might knock them down a peg or two, but, unfortunately for the great city of Cincinnati, not the Steelers. Especially under Mike Tomlin. He'll get them fired up again in no time. They'll come back as pissed as ever, Big Ben will force their way into the AFC championship like it was a bathroom stall (had to), and Bengal fans will have to consider almost splitting the series with them a huge victory. Change the record.

3. New England Patriots:The Patriots consistently put together a solid squad, year in and year out. Every few years they tend to hit a small slump and then bounce back with a vengeance. I think this is that kind of year for the Chowder Heads. The Jets may have exposed their weakness in the defense last year, but to counter that, Hoodie Bill went out and scooped up Albert Haynesworth. Last night they got  Chad Ocho Cinco. If we've learned anything about NE in recent years it's that punks, thugs, and kooks go there and straighten up quick. If he can straighten up, respect his coach, and not stomp on anyone's head, he could be a force again.

4. New York Jets: Who you rootin' for cutie? "The Goddamn Jets". (Big Daddy? Anyone?). A lot of people would argue that the Jets are leaving the Patriots in the dust. I think this rivalry is still closer and more heated than many believe. On the other hand, if the Jets can somehow manage to sign Nnamdi Asomugha and get Randy Moss back to caring about football like they are hoping to, the entire league might be in trouble, but those are some pretty big "if's". Cudos either way for getting rid of Braylon Edwards. He won't be back.

5. New Orleans Saints: To say the Saints underachieved last year is a huge understatement. They lost to the first team in NFL history to win their division with a -.500 record. Just so happened they also lost on a miracle 67yd run by Marshawn Lynch. The only thing uglier than Lynch's mug during that game was the Saints poor tackling. They'll be without Reggie Bush this year which could hurt the special teams, but it won't effect much else. I think the Saints will bounce back from tough times like they always do down there, give their fans some soap, and be a threat once again. Drew Brees plays better when people count him out. Ask the Chargers.

6. Baltimore Ravens: The simple fact about the Ravens is that they just won't go away. They are getting older on defense, but with the new young talent of Joe Flacco and Ray Rice on offense, they can afford to lose a step and still compete. Ray Lewis is still just as scary as he was when he moonlighted as a murderer (allegedly). They've taken some interesting losses with Kelly Gregg, Derrick Mason (retired?) Todd Heap, Dominique Foxworth, and Willis McGahee which leads me to believe they are out for blood this year. Those players will all be second stringers for the Bengals this season. (Spoiler alert.)

7. Atlanta Falcons: During the draft the Falcons picked up a great receiver in Alabama's Julio Jones to work opposite Roddy White. They could probably use some more support for Michael Turner at running back since it looks like Jason Snelling won't be back. Matty Ice continues to get better each year, and they have a solid defense. Playing the Saints twice a season never helps anyone.

8. Philadelphia Eagles: Whether you love the guy or you hate him, Michael Vick is a freak of an athlete to have leading your team. He proved last year that you don't always lose a step while you're in big people jail. They are clearing up some salary space by trading Kolb to the Cardinals, and Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie should be a good fit in Philly. Desean Jackson holding out could be a distraction, but not nearly as big as what signing Brett Favre to back up Vick could have been. That rumor has been recently squashed.

9. Indianapolis Colts: Peyton Manning is coming back from a neck injury, and the team still is yet to ink him a new contract, but if I was sure everything was going to be fine on both fronts, I'd probably have them higher on my list. It's unclear if they are going to resign RB Joseph Addai, but I feel like they need him. There aren't a lot of replacements still on the market for a guy like that.

10. San Diego Chargers: The Bolts have a one of the best QBs in the league in Phillip Rivers, and one of the best receivers in Vincent Jackson. Antonio Gates is a little banged up this year, but says he'll be fine before the season starts. They got LB Takeo Spikes from the 49ers who can still produce, and is a defensive leader in the locker room. However, I think the AFC West is going to be a little bit tougher division than it has been for the Chargers in years past.

11. Chicago Bears: Daaaaa Bears appear to be sliding down everyone's rankings since their NFC Championship loss last year. They still have Julius Peppers and Brian Urlacher, but those dudes are getting older. Jay Cutler has some image rebuilding to do in Chicago, so that he can regain the trust of the fans. I look for WR Johnny Knox to step up and make some big plays this year. That could take some of the pressure off of Matt Forte. He'll need some help, especially if they don't get another back in free agency.

12. Kansas City Chiefs: The Chiefs are turning into one of the most exciting offenses in football to watch. They have a great backfield, and Matt Cassel throwing the ball to Dwayne Bowe doesn't hurt their chances. People will say I have them too high, but I think they have a good shot at being a dark horse contender in the division even though they haven't really made any big adjustments from last year.

13. Houston Texans: To put it mildly, the Houston Texans simply haven't been able to catch a break in the last couple of seasons. Last second, and overtime losses have killed their momentum at every turn. I believe that's all about to change for them this year. They can compete with the Colts and Titans in division (finally) and RB Arian Foster paired with WR Andre Johnson gives them the right pieces in place, now they just need to learn to execute and finish games. Keep in mind that if they are able to acquire Jonathan Joseph from Cincinnati or Asomugha from the Raiders, it would definitely bump them up a few spots. (Update: The Texans signed CB Jonathan Joseph last night...dammit.)

14. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: This is a young team that is stacked with developing talent. They adopted a winning attitude last year for the first time in a while. Josh Freeman is a born leader, and LaGarrette Blount might not be the problem child we all thought he was anymore. (He hasn't punched anyone out in a couple of years.) On defense, Da'Quan Bowers in the second round may have given the Bucs the steal pick of the entire draft. The sky is the limit as they continue to get through the growing pains.

15. Minnesota Vikings: No more Favre. Nor more Chilly. No more Tavaris Jackson. No more Sidney Rice, but I refuse to bet against any team that has Adrian Peterson running the ball for them. They went through many trials and tribulations last season, but the Vikes will be better off without all of the craziness. McNabb will set a nice example for Christian Ponder at QB. They need to do everything they can to re-sign Ray Edward, and keep the defense strong. Having the Vikings at 15 makes me think this PR isn't going to get any easier on the way down..

16. St. Louis Rams: The Rams stepped their game up in a big way last season. Sam Bradford had a solid rookie season which made things much easier for Steven Jackson. He'll continue to be the work horse for this offense and I suspect the Rams will continue to improve. Now all they need is a nice receiver or two to round out the offense. The people of St. Louis have a lot to be excited about for the first time in a long time. 

17. Detroit Lions: I never thought I'd say this after their perfect 0-16 season a couple of years back, but the Lions are legit. Matt Stafford will be back from injury, Jahvid Best is establishing himself as a marquee player, the Megatron is going to continue to wreck defenses, and speaking of defenses, I have a feeling every team in the league is going to have to change their pants at halftime when they face Suh and rookie Nick Fairley. They have some holes in other areas, but the Lions have a solid foundation for once.

 18. New York Giants: The G-men are competing with the Steelers to pick up Plaxico Burress off of the prison/gun offender waiver wire, and they had a decent draft. Prince Amukamura seems like he could be a difference maker for them right out of the gate, but I am never completely sold on the Giants. They lost two of their starting linemen and I don't know how easy it will be to sub someone in with a limited training camp.

19. Dallas Cowboys: America's team...if that's the case,  America must have been pretty let down last season. Granted they had to suffer through a miserable season without their starting QB Tony Romo. Moving forward they will be without  Roy Williams which is basically just trimming the fat. They are still in the hunt for Nnamdi as of this writing, but I already said I think he'll go to the Jets. Dallas never has a shortage of talent, and I'm sure they'll bounce back..But not this year. I see 7-9 in their future. They play in a scary division.

 20. Oakland Raiders: Raider Nation is buzzing under new offensive minded head coach Hue Jackson.  He recently got everyone's attention  by announcing that this team will be a Super Bowl contender. Sure, it's unrealistic, but you gotta admire that gumption. That said, I can't imagine why in the blue hell they would let Nnamdi Asomugha slip through their fingers. And Robert Gallery might be a bigger loss than they realize.

21. Buffalo Bills: As a Bengals fan I can be certain about two things when it comes to the  Bills. #1  Ryan Fitzpatrick should be regarded as lightning in a bottle unless he can prove himself once and for all this season (I'm pulling for him).  #2 This is a team that always at very least has a chance to win. Stevie Johnson may be a drama queen, but he's going to break out this year, so watch for him in your fantasy football leagues. He and Lee Evans are going to catch even more balls with Brad Smith on the field to draw the defense. Also, Smith should help out their weak special teams. 

22. Cleveland Browns: Again, this whole Power Ranking thing is agonizing for me. I hate to say it, but I think the Browns are on their way up. It'll be hard for them to make the playoffs as long as the Steelers and Ravens are around, but Colt McCoy and "The Great White Buffalo" Peyton Hillis will make sure they can compete with just about anyone. Also, props to the city of Cleveland for going above and beyond to get him on the cover of the new Madden game. Let's just hope the Madden Curse bypasses this one.

23. Tennessee Titans: Jake Locker has a nice mentor in the newly acquired Matt Hasselbeck. They need to lock in Chris Johnson because, unlike most players who hold out for more money, he has a pretty good case for himself.

24. Jacksonville Jaguars: Blaine Gabbart will be a nice addition for them in the future, but the first and second round picks they gave up to get him might sting a little. Adding the Poz to their defense is an undeniable boost. MoJo Drew is always going to be a little stud, and Mercedes Lewis continues to improve, but they don't have much else going on as far as guys who can catch the ball.

25. Miami Dolphins: I think that the Dolphins nabbing Reggie Bush from the Saints does make them a better team, and adding Kyle Orton would be another step in the right direction. Last I hear they still were up in the air with Ricky Williams and Ronnie Brown. That should make Miami fans nervous.

26. Seattle Seahawks: One thing I can say for the Seattle Seahawks is that they are making moves. Robert Gallery could be a huge pickup for them, but I'm not sold on getting Tavaris Jackson and Sidney Rice from the Vikings. Sure, those guys know each other, but the times they did play together in Minnesota weren't exactly spectacular. 

27. Arizona Cardinals: The Cards are far removed from losing in the Super Bowl a few years back and they have never completely recovered from the loss of Kurt Warner. I like Kevin Kolb going there, but people need to remember that Kolb comes from an Eagles system that makes just about any QB look like the second coming. (See: A.J. Feely) What they really need is for Beanie Wells to stay healthy and play as well as he supposedly can alongside Tim Hightower. Larry Fitzgerald is the hardest working player in football. If only that were contagious.

28. Denver Broncos: In my observation, even though Tim Tebo is the Justin Beiber of the NFL, ultimately the starting job in Denver belongs to him. Kyle Orton will most likely end up a Dolphin. They were wise to resign Champ Bailey, but he's getting old and can't shut down an offense almost single-handedly like he used to.

29. Washington Redskins: The Skins eliminated a lot of their distractions by unloading Albert Haynesworth and Donovan McNabb, but it remains to be seen if those moves will actually make them better. Washington is wide receiver crazy right now! They signed Jabar Gaffney, Donte Stallworth, Brandon Stokley, and Santana Moss all within a 24 hour period. Those guys aren't bad...but who the hell is going to be throwing them the ball?

30. San Francisco 49ers: Like Mary, I'm a 9ers..There's just something about them...(Worst joke ever.) Signing Alex Smith will be their biggest move before the start of the season. Not restructuring Frank Gore's contract might doom the entire season when he holds out.

31. Carolina Panthers: The Panthers have a new head coach, Ron Rivera this season, and they took Cam Newton out of Auburn with the first overall pick. They have also added Greg Olsen at TE from the Bears. Their biggest loss was DeAngelo Williams at RB. I feel like this team, like most teams at the bottom, is in a perpetual state of rebuilding, and we might see them in a different light next season once they've had a chance to gel, but this isn't the Panthers year.

32. Cincinnati Bengals: Now hold your horses. Before you get all pissy, please understand that this hurts me a lot more than it hurts you. In my quest to be objective, and look at only the facts, I just couldn't justify placing the Bengals above any other team in the league at this juncture. They've already lost Carson Palmer, Chad Ocho Cinco, Jonathan Joseph, Terrel Owens, and it looks like they could lose Cedric Benson too..They had a pretty decent draft though. A.J. Green was the best receiver out there, but I don't know how effective he'll be without a decent QB. Can we just hand it off to him? The problem with the Bengals is that you never know what you are going to get. If I would have done this last year, I would have put them in the top 10 and predicted about 11 wins..We all saw how that turned out and it killed my soul. The AFC North might be the toughest division in the NFL and a team trying to rebuild on this scale is going to get murdered. I am guessing they'll probably get about 3 or 4 wins this year, but my heart always wants them to get 16. Did I mention I hate Mike Brown? Consider this Power Ranking some tough love. I want to be completely wrong for the first time in my life.

       WOW! What a freaking grind! As I suspected, this shit is a lot harder than it looks. Tons of research. Hours of writing and editing. I definitely DO have a new found respect for all the media goons who crank these out weekly during the season. I mean, mine was WAY better than theirs are, but I think I'll just leave this kinda stuff to the "professionals" from here on out. The problem I had here is that TroxTalk is usually all about my opinion, and I was genuinely trying to be fair, but about 3/4 of the way through I started to get bitter because I couldn't find a good reason to move my Bengals up. Then they traded Ocho and Jonathan Joseph WHILE I was writing and I just lost my cool. I had to go back and tweak some things. I hope this all made sense and you had a good time with it. I'm sure someone out there wants to punch me, so you can do it on Twitter @troxtalk or email me at trox@troxtalk.com. Thanks for stopping by as usual. I love keeping you guys in the loop, but I am so glad this marathon is over.

                                             Retired From Power Rankings,
                                             Trox