This weeks TroxTalk Homework Assignment was to select your last meal. I said that if you were on death row, and about to get the chair, I wanted to know exactly what you'd have the prison chef cook for you, right before the prison warden cooks YOU. We are taking orders! Here's what you degenerates came up with.
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| Phinny from the Best Podcast hit us with a 'shocker'. Pizza and whiskey. Which poses another question..Do they let you get hammered before they zap you? We'll pretend they do. |
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| Cody- "Chocolate chip pancakes with maple syrup and some delicious bacon." |
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Steve- "Beef stroganoff with texas toast and the most potent whiskey out there
I don't drink hard liquor, but I'd make an exception for that day.."Understandable. |
Hayes- "Enchilada dinner..2 Chicken and 2 Beef..refried beans...chips and queso..
AND a Coca Cola."
Chaske- "Bruschetta for an appetizer, mixed salad (of course), my mom's pesto cream sauce with bowtie pasta and vegetables, maybe apple pie and vanilla ice cream for dessert." (2 Notes for readers: 1.Chaske was my only vegetarian submission, because vegetarians don't commit crimes in cold blood. 2. His mom apparently works at this prison.)
Jake- "I think I would go with a big ass New York Strip steak and garlic mashed potatoes. Along with the biggest hot fudge cake I could find." If you know Jake, then you just read this in a Jake voice. Awesome.
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| Jesse- "What would I eat before I got merked? 10lbs of crab legs with some cheesy asparagus." |
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| Mike- "Whiskey and 3 Chipotle burritos. Carnitas, Barbacoa, and Steak. When my bowels void they'll be wishing they'd kept me alive." And void they shall..grossest shit I've ever heard. |
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| Trox- As for me, every time I watch that show Hell's Kitchen, and their order calls for a Beef Wellington, my mouth starts to water and I tell myself that I will have to try that at some point before I die. Now, since the odds of Chef Gordon Ramsey working in the same prison cafeteria as Chaske's mom one day seem pretty slim, I decided to stick to my all time favorite combo. I'll take a filet mignon with an order of Alaskan king crab legs and a side of garlic butter sauce..Corona with a lime to drink, because Vin Diesel once told me that I could have any drink I want, so long as it's a Corona. |
Some Famous Last Meals
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| John Wayne Gacy- The "Killer Clown" raped and murdered 33 teenage boys and young men from 1972-1978. His last meal wasn't much less of a resume. A dozen deep-fried shrimp, a bucket of original recipe chicken from KFC, French fries, and a pound of strawberries. Fatty. |
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| Saddam Hussein- The Iraqi dictator allegedly refused his last meal offer of chicken and cigarettes.. |
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| Timothy McVeigh- The Oklahoma City Bomber decided on 2 pints of mint chocolate chip ice cream...Pussy. |
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| Ted Bundy- This famous necrophiliac serial killer actually declined a last meal , so he was given the traditional steak (medium-rare), eggs (over-easy), hash browns, toast, milk, coffee, juice, butter, and jelly. |
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| Velma Barfield- Velma was the first woman in the US since the return of capital punishment in 1977 to be sentenced to death by lethal injection(1984). Her last meal was a can of Coke and a bag of cheese doodles. Way to go out guns a blazin', Velma... |
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| Robert Buell- Convicted of raping and murdering an 11 year old girl in 1982, Buell swore he was innocent (despite other rape charges where he was found guilty) and he ask for a single black olive for his last meal in protest of the system. That Bob, always sticking it to the man. |
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| James Edward Smith- I couldn't find a real picture of this guy, so this will have to suffice. After being found guilty of robbery and murder in Texas in 1990, Jimmy requested a lump of dirt for his last meal in order to perform a voodoo ritual. The lump of dirt was denied and he was brought a cup of yogurt instead. |
Sadly, that is the end of this morbid edition of the TroxTalk Homework Assignment. Thanks to everyone who participated. I know it was a little off the beaten path, but I wanted to switch things up a bit. It was definitely interesting...but I kind of need a shower after all of this research. TTHA was a little twisted this go round, so I'll have to bring things back down to earth next week. As always hit me up on twitter @troxtalk or email trox@troxtalk.com with your thoughts.
Grossed Out,
Trox
A few other random facts about Last Meals...
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| The Last Supper featured a Passover meal of roasted lamb, unleavened bread, bitter herbs, and wine. |
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| The Aztecs used to feed their human sacrifices for up to a year before they killed them. |
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Much to the dismay of TroxTalkers everywhere, alcohol is not generally permissible during a last meal, but in France they have a pre-death sentence tradition of a "little glass of rum" at execution. (And before you ask, Yes, this is the best picture I could find.)
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| Samurai warriors used to commit seppuka (ritual suicides) for many different honorable reason. Before they carried out the act, they were served their favorite foods. |
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| Some cultures have adopted the last meal as a way for society to make peace with the imprisoned. So, in accepting a last meal, the person receiving the death penalty is acknowledging that they know they have done wrong, and that they forgive the person responsible for taking their life in return. Many believe accepting the last meal also prevents the ghost of the accused from haunting those responsible for their death. |
