Saturday, March 12, 2011

Are You Afraid of the Dark?


        A week or so ago, I was with a group of friends and a conversation started about the things that used to terrify us as children. Some people had pretty basic answers like "the dark" or "being alone", but there were some other fears that were a bit less conventional. Bicycles, frogs, and clowns were among my favorites. That's why I decided to open this topic up to you guys. Everyone had that ONE idea, image, or character that could send them into a horrified frenzy as a child, so for homework this week, I asked my readers for theirs. We'll get to that in just a second, but first I want to tell you about what scared the living shit out of me when I was a lad.

It was this little bastard, right here...
      Being a kid is filled with fearful and tearful experiences. Kids scrape knees, get grounded, and pull each other's hair. For me, NOTHING could have made my childhood experiences any worse than Chucky... Jason was 8 ft. tall with a hockey mask and a machete, Leatherface was a deranged maniac with a chainsaw, and Freddy Kreuger was a demon that killed you in your sleep! I was scared out of my wits by... a doll. In fact I still kind of hate him. I'm alone at the moment and I just caught myself scrolling down the page a bit as I type so that I don't have to see his face up there. Pretty pathetic right? Let me explain.
      When I discovered Child's Play for the first time, I didn't even actually see the movie. It was just a commercial. It was about a 30-45 second trailer for Child's Play in which a camera zoomed in on a Good Guy doll (which looked pretty much identical to the My Buddy which I took with me EVERYWHERE. Power Wheel rides, movie theaters, and just about any family function. I my buddy even made it to my Aunt's funeral for moral support. I may as well have written that damn jingle.."My buddy! My buddy! Where ever I go, he goes! My Buddy and me!!) ...sorry I got lost there for a second. Anyway, the camera zooms in on this eerily similar dolls smiling face and I lit up. MY doll was on TV? And he was going to be in his own movie?! AWESOME! Thats when his eyes turned red and his tiny smile creepily stretched from ear to ear..Uh oh..and a bit of blood began to trickle from the corners of his mouth..oh shit..and he belted out the most evil and sinister cackle that I could ever imagine. I immediately changed the channel and ran to my bed to hide under the covers. (Shut up. That was the ultimate last line of defense. The ol' trusty blanky. No self serving S.O.B. ever made a movie about an evil blanky. Thank God.) I left My Buddy in the TV room...

 
He doesn't have a hat..still close enough for a 6 year old.

         From that moment on, I was terrified of My Buddy. Every night I would try to throw him away. I'd dump him head first in the trash can and lie awake for hours praying he wouldn't ever come back. God didn't listen. And every morning, there Chucky  would be.. Seated upright, and smiling on my bottom bunk. (I was kind of a spoiled kid. Only child at the time, but I had me some bunkbeds..) I guess Gram just thought I was leaving him in the trash as part of a game or something, and she would return him to my room for me. Night after night... Either that, or she was aggravated because she paid $30 for the damn thing, and Chucky or not, I was going to play with it and like it! Reason made no matter. All I knew was that each day the evil possessed demon doll was back in my room, and the only logical explanation to a little kid is that he must be coming back for me all by himself because he wants me dead. The next few weeks I lived in utter fear. At one point it got so bad that I wouldn't even walk(or run) down the hallway if I had to go to the bathroom at night anymore. I would just stand on a chair in front of the kitchen sink, or if I was trying to make for an even quicker escape from Chucky, I'd just pee in the garbage can next to the fridge. It seems silly now, but at the time, it was all about survival.
          My terror continued for a while until one day my little cousin Jeffrey came over. He was a couple of years younger than me, so I was more than a little shocked when he entered my room and exclaimed, "You have a Chucky?! That is so sweet! I love Child's Play." ....F%$# YOU, JEFFREY! SWEET?! WAS HE KIDDING!!!??? I wanted to punch him. All these sleepless nights. All these, not-so trips to the restroom. All these images haunting me whenever I would close my eyes. SWEET!? I did the only thing that seemed fair. I gave My Buddy to Jeffrey. Not because I felt like he would appreciate it. Or because I thought it would help me get past my own fears. No. I gave My Buddy to my cousin Jeffrey that day because I felt like Jeffrey needed to be taught a lesson. I was older and smarter than he was, so naturally, Jeffrey wouldn't last a single night with that homicidal psychopath in his room...especially if he was just going to befriend Chucky and tell him how "sweet" he was. Jeffrey was certain to be a goner...but the lesson never came...they were best friends from then on...and I was left all alone. Whenever I am walking down a dark street at night, or I'm in that dimly lit hallway that leads you into a movie theater, or even sometimes when I get up in the night to take a leak, I still swear I can hear tiny footsteps pattering behind me...But I do own the entire Child's Play series on DVD.

Enough about me! What was YOUR Chucky?


My friend Steve said he suffered virtually the exact same Child's Play trauma I did. Good news buddy! They might be making a new one soon...
"I was scared of the movie nightmare before Christmas! I loved Freddy, but couldn’t watch this
Also I was scared to walk on orange carpet without shoes.. long story!" - Mandy
"I was really scared of bridges..I was a little bitch." -Cody
"Jaws was pretty damn scary for me after i saw that- like deep water stuff, big sharks etc- not necessarily scared of water or the ocean just gnarly, uncontained sharks"- Chaske
"Man, I've always feared death.
Is that creepy?
Other than that i was a pretty bad ass kid..
I did wear those no fear tshirts
for a reason!" -Rick


"Walking up the basement stairs in the dark
still flips me the fuck out today...make sure I do a double look behind me
cant be having any fools creep up on me." - Justin
"Toe nail clippings...Can I just say NASTY!" -Paula
"Bugs..every damn one of 'em." -Phinny

"So when I was 7 years old, my Dad got a VHS copy of the horror classic
ALIEN. I think it was still out in theaters but there was one guy in
our neighborhood in Cleveland who was KING PIRATE. He gave my dad a
copy of the tape. This was one of the first somewhat affordable
VCR's, and it was the kind with the huge manual buttons and the pop-up
top.

I watched the movie until the alien burst out of the guy's chest. It

freaked me out and I was shaking uncontrollably as I was insanely
scared about what I just saw. They both reassured me it was only a
movie, etc., but I KNEW BETTER.

As I laid in my bed I could swear I could feel one squirming around in

my chest. I could not sleep. So with my KID LOGIC, I figured if I
slept on my SIDE I would be okay. Also, I would not wear a t-shirt,
especially a white one. This would somehow protect me from this
ghastly fate. I could not sleep any other way. Also, any gas
anomalies or anything "off," and I'd worry a bit that an Alien was
going to explode out of my chest in the middle of the night.

It may have been months or over a year I don't remember exactly but

every night for a long time I was haunted by this fear. Eventually, I
grew out of it as I got older of course, but I kept up the
side-sleeping and no t-shirt thing for a long time just because I was
used to it.

Of course now Alien is one of my favorite sci-fi/horror movies of

all-time and I've watched in many, many times." -Carl





  
       This has been a lot of fun! I love how almost everyone said they feel like a complete nerd now because of the things that scared them when they were young. Today, as grown ups, we are afraid of hangovers, H.R. meetings, and the Duke Energy bill. Stuff sure was a lot simpler back then. Thanks to everyone who participated. You guys have an awesome weekend! We'll get into that video game mega post sometime in the next few days. For now, take it easy.


                                                      Warmest Regards,

                                                      Trox

P.S. At least you aren't this kook.











 "The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear."
--- H.P. Lovecraft

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