Hate Crow

      Everyone has heard of the expression "eating crow". Basically, eating crow is an idiom used to describe when a person or group takes a strong position on an issue, and then later someone who is either smarter than them or who is just a dick comes along, and spoils the fun by proving that position incorrect. Being forced to "eat crow" refers to the humiliation of admitting you're wrong or being proven wrong.
      In my quest to not reference religion in every single TroxTalk post, I will just say that back in the day there was this book. A lot of people read it, and adopted many of its beliefs, morals, and values. This book even instructed people on how they should eat. In this book, which will remain nameless, it says that it's absolutely disgusting to eat rats, buzzards, and other scavenger type creatures...Like? You got it. Crows. ..*cough*... Leviticus Chapter 11.
      The expression itself is derived from the figurative term "eating boiled crow" which originated 1850s America. People who study unimportant things like this tend to believe that "eating crow" started as a variation of the old English phrase "eating humble pie". See, humble pie was actually called "umble pie" as it was made from umbles, which are the unsavory parts of a deer. Umble pie was served to lower level servants or peasants in the old days while the upper class got to eat all the good stuff. It's sort of like how in my family the grown ups used to eat all the white meat at Thanksgiving and pass the groaty dark meat over to the kids table. Poor folks were also served rook pie...And rooks are in the same bird family (Corvidae Corvus) as crows. European Magpies, a type of crow, were also called "pies".

Rook

 

Rook

     Anywho, "eating crow" is an expression that has always fascinated me. I have even eaten crow a few times myself. There was a time when I insisted that HD-DVD was going to beat out Blu-Ray discs because just about every proprietary media format Sony has ever put out has ultimately flopped. Betamax, Super Audio Cds, Playstation.... But you see me working here, right? Even when a person eats crow there is still the opportunity to make a case for themselves after the fact.. When being proven wrong sometimes people will say things like "You couldn't tell I was being sarcastic?" or "Oh I was only half-serious" (by the way, how can something only be half-serious? That'll have to wait for a different post) What I'm saying is, no one is ever truly held completely accountable for anything in our society. There is always a way for some knob to sneakily wriggle out of his situation..Until now...I give you...

      Hate Crow is the great equalizer. The ultimate trump card. It is irrefutable. Un-rebuttable. Unforgiving. And Unstoppable. It's like the terminator. It doesn't feel sympathy or remorse. Once it has you in it's razor sharp talons, there is no escape. If "eating crow" is disgusting. Hate Crow is anthrax. If "eating crow" is humiliating, Hate Crow is rape. It is the ultimate STFU and should be unleashed with extreme caution, because once it's out of it's cage..you're done, son! In short, the Hate Crow would beat the piss out Brandon Lee. It might even be why he didn't live through the entire filming of the movie. He was making a mockery of the Hate Crow's inability to die, or forgive his enemies. Hate Crow does not like to be trifled with. His wrath is vengeful and his will is indestructible. In short, Hate Crow means, You are finished talking now. We all heard it. You're an idiot. Exit Stage left.

"And I say I'm dead...and I move!"

       Hate Crow is for that guy we mentioned earlier. The weasel who never just owns it when they're wrong. The liar who swears they meant something different when they hear their voice on tape. In fact, if you google "celebrity eating crow", next to nothing comes up. Try it! I'll wait... It's because no one ever makes celebrities just own what they say. Only the most vile or repeat offenders deserve such a punishment. You can't just go lobbing it around at anyone you don't like. That's dangerous and irresponsible. If you cast the Hate Crow out in to the night after it's prey you have to be certain it is justified. Be prepared to deal with it's consequences. Everyone survives "ate crow" but no one survives "Hate Crow"!

Hate Crow is the polar opposite of Sheryl Crow

Here are a few examples of those worthy of the Hate Crow...

Fergie, Nice Halftime Show..CROW!!

Perez, You earned it! CROW!!

Shirley Phelps, God Hates YOU! CROOOWW!!

Big Ben, Yeah..Sure ya didn't.

Ke$ha, Ma$e did it first! CROOOWWWW!!!

         You guys have seen me use this phrase a few times if you've been keeping up with the blog. Hopefully this sheds some light on things, as promised. I bet you already have a whole multitude of idiots you'd like to feed this bad boy to, so I'll leave you to it. Stamp a hate crow on a couple of 'em! I guarantee you'll start to feel better immediately. Send your victims to me @troxtalk on twitter, or shoot an email over to trox@troxtalk.com. This isn't a homework assignment, but I'll post them randomly throughout future posts. Meanwhile, watch out next week for the results of our 1st Annual Shower Beer Challenge. I asked people to grab your camera, grab a beer, put it in the shower, and be funny. The winner is going to Chili's on my dollar. Also Next week, I will begin a 10 day TROXATHON with a friend of mine as a special guest. We will lay out what we believe are the 10 Greatest Video Games of all time once a day for your debating pleasure, or you can just tune in to see how big of a geek I really am...Toodles.

 "Closing time! Time to roll to Chili's and chow down with my fuckin' boys!"