If you will recall, way back in July before TroxTalk's little vacation, we gave you our first ever NFL Pre-Season Power Rankings. It took a lot of hard work and dedication by yours truly, but in the end it was a HUGE success. You guys loved it! Which obviously meant we couldn't let it fall by the way-side upon our triumphant return. I don't want to toot my own horn, but considering how many big changes there have been around the league, and how up in the air everything was, I think I did a pretty solid job in my predictions. Don't believe me? Go back and look for yourself. NFL Pre-Season Power Rankings...
The season is now in full swing, and I'm prepared to once again lay things out for you guys as we march on towards the NFL Playoffs. Thumbs up. Let's do this!
1. Green Bay Packers (8-0):As I predicted (toot toot) back in July. The Green Bay Packers are just as good, if not better than they were last year during their Championship season. Aaron Rodgers is not only looking like the MVP (toot toot), but he also has taken the place of Peyton Manning and his neck in some pretty funny commercials.
2. San Francisco 49ers (7-1): I have to admit, this is the team that I was the most wrong about so far this season. Can anyone really blame me? This is virtually the exact same team that went 6-10 last year. Frank Gore didn't hold out on them like I thought he would (memo to CJ2K) and I joked about Alex Smith being their biggest off season signing...Turns out he actually was, and he's playing lights out! It doesn't hurt that they play in the shittiest division in football either. They are under new management this time around, and so far the Jim Harbaugh era looks pretty good with only a few minor distractions....
3. Baltimore Ravens (6-2): The Ravens had a couple of rough weeks in a row with a loss to the abysmal Jaguars on Monday Night Football, and a 3 point win over a Cardinals team that had no business being able to compete with them. Everyone is going to forget all about that now because the birds laid another beatdown on the Steelers last Sunday night. Joe Flacco proved a lot of people wrong with his big game winning drive on Sunday. He still looks like a muppet though.
4. New York Giants (6-2): I predicted that Prince Amukamara would be a huge difference maker for the Giants this season, but they still wouldn't be very good with the losses they suffered in the off-season..I was wrong twice. Mark your calenders. They are playing really well in all three phases of the game right now,and that win over the Patriots this week was HUGE!
5. Pittsburgh Steelers (6-3-): I believe the AFC North this year (surprisingly) to be the best division in football. (Yeah I said it!) The Steelers are coming off a brutal division loss to the Ravens. However, after this week, when they play the Bengals, we are really going to see things start to take shape for all 3 teams. Oh yeah, and if you're keeping score, I still hate them.
6. Detroit Lions (6-2):I'm a prick, so allow myself to quote..myself..."The Megatron is going to continue to wreck defenses, and speaking of defenses, I have a feeling every team in the league is going to have to change their pants at halftime when they face Suh." DAMN I'M GOOD! Did I say that already? If I would have made this PR a couple of weeks ago, they might have been #1. I hope they pick it back up because I believe the league is better when the Lions aren't awful. How awesome is Thanksgiving going to be? Instead of watching a meaningless Packers Vs. Lions game in attempt block out all family communication, you get to attempt to avoid mending those broken relationships with a game that actually matters. I love the holidays. No matter how you slice it, the Lions are a force in the NFL for the first time this century. And this guy still scares the shit out of me!
7. New England Patriots (5-3):I'll admit that I was dead wrong about Ocho and Albert being huge additions to the Pats, but I was spot-on about the kind of season they would have. Sure, they've lost to a couple of teams above them in these Power Rankings, but they are still doing it "The Patriot Way" with a pretty tough freaking schedule. That schedule does soften heading towards the playoffs, so I think they'll probably win the AFC East after they win their last 5 of the season in a row. They play the Colts, Redskins, Broncos, Dolphins, and Bills (they won't lose to them twice) in that final stretch.
8. Cincinnati Bengals (6-2):"I am guessing they'll probably get about 3 or 4 wins this year, but my heart always wants them to get 16. Did I mention I hate Mike Brown? Consider this Power Ranking some tough love. I want to be completely wrong for the first time in my life!"- Some Jackass... DAMN! I'm not supposed to be biased, but how good has Andy Dalton been? Last time I did one of these posts, I kept forgetting his name, and look at him now! A.J. Green is probably my favorite football player at the moment. And I hear he is a big fan of mine too (Below is an actual photo of Green's locker..He kinda has girly handwriting..) I'll due another "State of the Bengals" post soon, but for now I'll just say "FUCK YEAH!" Let's just hope they keep it up as they enter their brutal late season schedule.
9. New Orleans Saints (6-3):I agree that it's possible I may have the Saints a little too high. That's partly because I have some great friends down there who read this blog, who would gladly make the 13 hour and 16 minute drive (I googled it) to beat my ass if I bashed on them too hard, and it's also because we are this far into the season and I still I'm not quite sure who this team really is. Are the still the team who destroyed the Bears and Colts, and nearly slayed Aaron Rodgers and the mighty Packers? Or will they keep losing games they should easily win like they did against A.J. Feely and the Rams?
10. Chicago Bears (5-3): Matt Forte accounts for about 50% of the Bears total yards from scrimmage this year. He need to account for a higher percentage of their payroll. Without him they'd be much closer to the bottom of these here Power Rankings. That win last night over the Eagles showed us which way both teams are headed.
11. Houston Texans (6-3): Even with Andre Johnson out the Texans are still having themselves a nice little season. Someone should probably send Peyton Manning's neck a thank you card. I still think they'll make the playoffs for the first time in franchise history this year because the rest of their division is in shambles. I'm just not sure how deep into the playoffs they can make it. They were my back-up plan for a team to cheer for just in case the Bengals had as bad of a year as everyone predicted, but here they sit, below Cincinnati on the charts...at least for the time being. My new Andre Johnson is still hanging in the closet...just in case.
12. New York Jets (5-3): Joe Namath has been riding his old team like an aloholic cowboy this entire season. If I were going to base these rankings on no more than the drunken ramblings of an old fool that the world has long forgotten, I'd have the Jets no higher than 30 on the countdown. Ease up, Willy. The Jets are still pretty good. I am just as sick as everyone else of hearing about how good they THINK they are, but realistically, I can still see them in the playoff picture if they can win a few more games against decent teams. How about the Patriots for example? They're decent! They've also beaten the Jets once already this year, and they are next up on the schedule.
13. Atlanta Falcons (5-3): They just murdered the Colts like they were supposed to. To me, the Falcons should be a lot better than they are. Michael Turner is putting the team on his back, but I don't know if that's going to be enough for them. A lot of their strife, and the strife of many fantasy footballers, comes from the pedestrian play of Matt Ryan so far this year. Did anyone (besides me) pick up the Ice Man in about the 3rd round of their draft and yell "Championship!"? I think everyone is pretty surprised he isn't playing better than he is. I hate it when people say nasty things about players based on how they are doing in FF, but I think I speak for all of us when I say "PICK IT UP MATT! WE WANNA GET PAID!"
14. Buffalo Bills (5-3): A few short weeks ago, the Bills were the next big thing. They had their best start to a season in 20 years, and the world was their oyster. I look for them to pick it back up, but sharing a division with the Patriots and the Jets gets pretty tough on them every year.
15. Kansas City Chiefs (4-4):Just when it looks like the Chefs have finally bounced all the way back from losing Jamaal Charles early in the season..They get embarrassed by the Dolphins at home. If they lose to the Broncos next week, I think their season is over. "That's great, Trox. But who are the Chefs?" Great googly moogly...
16. Dallas Cowboys (4-4):America's team is picked to win the Super Bowl every year dating back to when Tom Landry was the coach. And they don't. They just keep things right down the middle season after season. They win against the awful teams, and the lose to the teams would make them seem better than average. Fittingly, they are smack dab in the middle of this list.
"If I hear 'Yah mo Be There' one more time, I'm gonna Yah mo burn this place to the ground."
17. San Diego Chargers (4-4): Just like the Bucs and the Chiefs, I have no idea what to think about the Chargers at this point. One week they choke away a game that they should have easily won, and the next week they give the Packers the best game they've had so far this season. Who are these guys?!
18. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-4):Their 4 losses were all against good teams, and if the 49ers hadn't completely blown them out (Week 5: 48-3), I'd probably rank them a little higher. Plus, I like that their mascot is Captain Morgan.
20. Minnesota Vikings (2-6):Christian Ponder is looking like a nice draft pick for them so far. Unfortunately they waited too long to give up on Donovan McNabb, so Ponder won't be leading the Vikes to the playoffs, at least no this year.
21.Denver Broncos (3-5):Well, if there was ever any question about whether or not Tim Tebow would be successful as a starter in the NFL...umm...yeah...I guess there still is. I like his fire, and the way he gets his team up for the game, but I hate how every ball he throws sails in wounded duck fashion over his intended receivers head. I am pulling for him though. (If any of my readers send me pictures of themselves "Tebowing", I will post them.)
22. Oakland Raiders (4-4): Fuck Carson Palmer. Thanks for the draft picks. That is my Raiders take. I hope you liked it. Also, R.I.P., Mr. Davis. (Not sarcasm. I thought he was awesome. Crazy. But awesome.)
23. Carolina Panthers (2-6):I love Cam Newton. The Panthers are a really fun team to watch. I think he will make a great runner-up for rookie of the year behind Andy Dalton (yeah I said that too!) The Panthers need to get him some defense so that his phenomenal abilities will eventually turn into W's.
24. Tennessee Titans (4-4):Chris Johnson was the only thing the Titans really had going for them this year. He got paid, and mailed it in on them big time. CJ2K is going to have to find a new nickname here soon. Perhaps CJ45.8.. (45.8 is his ypg so far this year. I'm hilarious.)
25. Cleveland Browns (3-5): I don't subscribe to the idea that one player can destroy an entire teams hopes for a meaningful season all by themself, but I think Peyton Hillis has done exactly that for the Browns. This was going to be the year that they finally turned this thing around because they had a dependable back who was running people over and seemingly couldn't be stopped...unless he got a cold?...or was having contract issues? The Madden curse is finding new and creative ways to render it's cover-boys useless.
26. Washington Redskins (3-5):I think I liked the team better when the Redskins ownership treated the organization like it wasa Fantasy Football squad. They go sign all the big names, and then it would never work out.. Now instead of counting on guys like Donovan McNabb, Albert Haynesworth, and Clinton Portis to make them look mediocre, they are content to save some money and let John Beck do that for them.
27. Jacksonville Jaguars(2-6): I don't think anyone expected the Jaguars to shock the world this year, but I am positive no one thought they were going to cut their starting QB, David Garrard a week before the season started, and then watch their first round pick get leveled every Sunday. They might get better next year. Thanks for embarrassing the Ravens on a national stage for the rest of us.
28. Seattle Seahawks (2-5): We're low enough in the standings that I can't even tell you who this teams quarterback is..and neither can they. HEEEYYYOOOO!!!
29. Arizona Cardinals: If we're on the subject of quarterbacks you couldn't pick out of a lineup..Who the fuck is John Skelton? They did manage to get another win this week, but it was against one of only a few teams that I would consider to be in worse shape than the Cardinals.
30. St. Louis Rams (1-7): Speak of the devil. If you would have told me at the beginning of the season that the Rams would be doing this poorly, I would have called you an idiot. By the way, guy who said exactly that to me during the preseason, if you are reading this, I am very sorry for calling you an idiot. You know who you are.
31. Miami Dolphins (1-7): Remember the 1972 Dolphins? Me neither. I wasn't alive then. I sure that this team is probably the total opposite of that team.. Well, not the total EXACT opposite, they did just manage to get their first win of the year.
32. Indianapolis Colts(0-9): The Indianapolis Colts are WINLESS. Even as I type it, I am having trouble wrapping my brain around that statement. The good news is horseshoes are supposed to be "Luck"y. See me working here?
Sheeeeww...That was a freaking workout! I couldn't think of a better way to dust of the old blog and get back in the swing of things than a marathon like that. Thanks for making it to the end! You're a trooper. Don't forget to "Like" TroxTalk on Facebook spread the word to your crew. The Twitter is back too @TroxTalk. It's been a blast as always, but I'm tapped out for now. I'll hit you guys with some new hotness in a couple of days.
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